Narrative

Kate Gerry L&L 4 5/25/12

Chapter One

Pushing the cold steel door open, I walked into a room of grim faces all turned towards me. They are the employees of EU Music, also known as my management. “Hello everyone! Sorry I’m late the traffic was a bit heavy downtown.” The head of EU Music, Donald Ralph, curtly nodded at me, “Please take a sit Ms. Rowan.” I gently dropped my bag on the floor and sat in the only empty chair across from Mr. Ralph. “We have some serious matters to discuss.” Mr. Ralph said as his icy blue eyes starred into mine. As always around this man, I couldn’t find my voice. So I simply nodded in response. “Ms. Hetterway, and Mr. Westerfield have reviewed the music that you selected for the EP.” Mr. Ralph said, gesturing to the people on either side of him. “None of the songs made the cut. We need to adjust your style.” “What does that mean, to adjust my style?” I asked, confused. “Well the style of your music has to be more upbeat, and we need to tweak your appearance a bit.” Ms, Hetterway explained with a fake smile plastered across her face. “But why?” I questioned. “Your audience is made up of young teens, and studies show that upbeat records have higher selling rates compared to slow songs, like the ones you wrote. You see, we need to appeal to our audience or else your music won’t sell.” Mr. Westerfield stated. “We’ll bring in some stylists and introduce you to some new writers tomorrow. For now you can sit in while the team brainstorms some ideas.” Mr. Ralph said as he gathered his stuff to leave. He stood up, towering over us all, nodded goodbye and left. As soon as the steel door shut behind him a heavy air was lifted from the room. “Okay, lets start throwing around some ideas!” said Heather Mincy, the creative director. “I think that we should give you a more energetic vibe, with lots of bright colors.” Said Ms. Hetterway. “We should die her hair blonde too, the auburn isn’t very energetic. Maybe she could wear contacts that make her eyes a brighter blue also.” Mr. Westerfield thought aloud, speaking as if I wasn’t in the room. “What is wrong with my eyes?” I protested. “They are a little haunting, with their deep blue coloring and all. They just don’t fit in with the image we are trying to give you. Don’t take it personally though.” Mr. Westerfield explained. “We could cut her hair too, maybe give her a short bob.” Added Mr. Westerfield. I subconsciously stroked my long, wavy, auburn hair not wanting to let it go. “We will need to do something about that tattoo also, cover it with makeup or something. What does it mean anyways?” Ms. Stern, my publicist, said as she gestured to my wrist. “It’s three lucky stars. They are in memory of Evan, a close friend of mine who died when I was 15. Why do I have to hide it?” I said, conscious of everyones scrutinizing gaze on me. “Well, you see, you have a very impressionable audience and tattoo’s don’t go over well with parents. But we want to please the parents because your audience will be getting money from their parents to buy your music.” Ms. Stern explained. The conversation went on like this for the next hour, everyone changing me like I was their puppet. By the time the meeting was over I was blinking back tears, trying to keep on a brave face. Yet, once the heavy door swung shut behind me I could feel them start to roll down my face.

Chapter Two

Stepping out into a warm summer haze, I broke down. I felt all my insecurities from high school washing over me like a tidal wave. Knowing I couldn’t let my thoughts catch up with me, I resorted to the same consolation methods as high school. “Ed?” I said in a shaky voice, holding my iPhone up to my ear. “Yeah it’s me. Are you okay Bree? You sound like you’ve been crying.” “I have,” I said letting out another small sob. “I just got out of a meeting with my management. It might have very well been the worst meeting of my life.” “I already told you, you don’t need them.” Ed reassured me. “But I do! I’m not like you. People don’t connect with my music the same way they do with yours. My songs don’t chart #3, like the A team did.” “Who cares Bree. Your music is full of emotion, and I relate to it every time I hear you sing.” “You’re just saying that because you’re my friend and you have to.” I replied, grateful that he couldn’t see me blushing. “Why don’t we meet at the Loreth Cafe in twenty minutes, we can talk more.” Ed suggested. “Okay, see you there.” I said as I hung up the phone. As I walked I thought about our conversation, wishing I could be as confident and sure as Ed. Most of all, wishing he knew how I felt about him.

Chapter Three

“There you are!” Ed said standing up to greet me with a hug. “Hey.” I replied quietly, trying to hide the fact that my tears had gotten the best of me on the walk here. “Oh Bree, don’t cry. Everything will be okay.” Ed reassured me, gently wiping away a new tear rolling down my face. “I know, it’s silly I’m so worked up. I just feel like I’m in high school again or something. All of my insecurities are resurfacing and I feel like I am losing who I am. I can’t afford to lose myself when it took so long to become clear on who I am.” I said. “Why would you lose yourself?” Ed asked confused. “Because my management wants to change my look, and my music.” I explained before rehashing the meeting. “Bree, don’t even give them a second thought. You are perfect the way you are, and your fans love you for being yourself not someone who is fake.” Ed said when I was finished. He took a swig of his favorite drink, Robinson’s Fruit and Barley Peach juice. When I didn’t reply he continued. “Do you remember when I left my old management?” He asked rhetorically. “Well, I didn’t really tell anyone why I left them. It was because they wanted to change me. They said I couldn’t play the music I wanted, and that I had to dye my hair. So, I backed out.” “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” “I was embarrassed. At first I thought that I wasn’t good enough and that I needed to change. Then I realized that they were just trying to make me fit a mold, and I wasn’t going to accept that.” “So you think I should resign?” “Well, not necessarily. I just think you should stand your ground and tell them that you are not going to change. If they don’t think you are good enough to keep, then they weren’t worthy of you in the first place.” “You really think so?” I questioned. “Of course I do. Your one of my best friends Bree. Even though you may have not always known who you were, I have. And I’m not going to let anyone change you.” “Oh, and I forgot the worst part.” I added. “What?” “They told me I was going to have to cover up my lucky stars.” This light a fire behind Ed’s eyes. “Did you tell them about Evan?” “I just told them they were in memory of him, it didn’t make a difference.” “You should have explained what they mean. You should have told them that he was the luckiest person until the day he died, when he passed his luck to us. Maybe that would have changed their minds.” “I don’t think so Ed. They are pretty stubborn.” I said, thinking about how he possessed the same trait. “That is outrageous. Those are part of who you are. Who we are. Evan was our best friend.” Ed said, subconsciously rubbing his own tattoo. “And thats your signature thing, just like the paw print for me. It’s a connection to your fans. How could they try to take that away from you?” “I don’t know. I feel like they are trying to reinvent me. I don’t know how I’m going to tell Mr. Ralph that there is a change in plans. He is the most intimidating man I have ever met. I swear, when he enters a room it goes dead silent and he commands everyone there.” I said anxiously. “So, give him a taste of his own medicine. Show him that he doesn’t own you, that you have your own thoughts.” “But Ed, I’m not like you. I can’t just walk into a room and speak my thoughts without caring about what others will think.” “Bree, you’ve got to. You can’t let them treat you like this.” Ed pleaded as his phone buzzed. “Oh, I’m sorry I’ve got to go. I completely forgot I have an interview.” He said as he got up to leave. “Call me again tomorrow after you get out of work, tell me how things go.” He yelled back once he was at the door, then he was gone. I sat there for a few more minutes, pretending that he would come back and never leave; pretending that he would always be there for me. Hoping that maybe he felt the same way.

Chapter Four

Sitting on the couch at my flat with an ice tea, I thought things over. Going through my options, I realized there really wasn’t any good way out. As much as I didn’t agree with my management, I thought I needed them. But in my heart I knew that I couldn’t let someone reinvent me and dictate who I am. I thought about my goals and my plans to achieve them. I want to make a difference in the world and change someones life, and I intend to do so through my music. By spreading my music I can affect more people, and the more people I affect the bigger the impact I can make. So, even though part of my plan is to spread my music, it isn’t all about the fame. While mulling over my thoughts my cat rubbed against my legs, begging for attention. “What do you think, Lucky? Do you like my music?” I quietly asked as I rubbed her back and thought about how she came to be mine. Back in September, the week Ed’s album was released, Ed and I were walking back to my flat. “So, are you psyched about your album?” I asked, knowing the answer. “Yeah, it’s so great after releasing so many EP’s to finally have an album.” He replied. “Have you heard what--” I started before being cut of my Ed’s phone. “It’s my manager, I’ve got to answer.” He said as his eyes lit up with excitement. His manager told him that his album, +, had just charted #1. The album had gone above and beyond Ed’s wildest dreams and he was ecstatic. We didn’t return to my flat until hours later, instead we celebrated. Finally, when we were on our way back we passed a small alley way when I heard an odd noise. “Did you just hear that?” I asked. “Hear what?” Ed said just as the noise came again. We peered into the alley, where the noise seemed to be coming from. “It sounds like a cat, doesn’t it?” Ed guessed as he cautiously walked into the alley, shining his phone for light. Sure enough, a small black cat with striking green eyes was huddled in the shadows. “Oh no, I think it was abandoned. Look how skinny it is!” I said, horrified at it’s condition. “Lets take her home and clean her up.” Ed suggested. So, we did just that. I decided to keep her, and named her Lucky because of our luck on the night we found her. Reminiscing that night made me remember that he was able to make it in the music industry by himself, and only signed when he reached an independent peak in his career. The most admirable part of it all is that he is still the same person that I have known forever, the only difference being he has matured. He has such a great fan base because of his legitimacy. This made me realize that I want to be legitimate for my fans and have to be to meet my goals. Based on this revelation, I know what I have to do. Sitting, rubbing Lucky’s head I could only hope I was making the right decision.

Chapter Five

Walking up to the EU Music office building the next morning, I felt the anxious butterflies in my stomach that accompanied the knowledge that this might be the last time I would enter this building. The butterflies only got worse as I ascending the stairs and snaked through the many corridors to the meeting room. Pushing on the cool heavy steel door I felt my hand go cold, and then my whole body when I saw Mr. Ralph. “Thank you for joining us Ms. Rowan.” He said icily as if he knew what I was thinking. Looking around the I noticed a handful of unfamiliar faces. I dreaded the thought of standing up to Mr. Ralph in front of all these people. So, I simply sat down. “As you can see, we brought in some stylists and song writes who will assist you.” Mr. Ralph announced, addressing me. I looked anywhere but his eyes, my gaze glued to the floor. “Ms. Rowan? Would you care to listen?” I felt heat rise up to my cheeks as I raised my eyes to meet his gaze. His eyes bore into mine as he continued, “As I was saying, these people will help adjust your style to be more favorable.” Nervously, I twisted my ring trying to muster up the courage to respond. By doing so I revealed my wrist, with my tattoo that I did not cover up. “Oh dear, you forgot to cover that up.” Ms. Stern said as she dove into her bag, searching for some make up that would do the job. I wanted to scream, to tell these people that I wasn’t their puppet and I wasn’t going to stand for this. Instead, I sat silently and listened to Mr. Ralph continue. “We will deal with that in a minute, after I explain. First you will meet with the stylists and Ms. Stern to develop your new look. Then you can choose who you would like to cowrite with based on your new style.” Frustrated tears sprung to my eyes, because of my inability to voice my thoughts. Once again, I wished I had the confidence that Ed possesses. At this point Ms. Stern got up from her seat with cover up in hand, ready to take the first step in the process of reinventing me. I knew it was now or never. “No.” I said, just above a whisper. “Excuse me? What was that?” Mr. Ralph, who had been discussing with the stylists, asked. “I said no. I don’t want to change who I am.” I said again. “Breanna, we already discussed this. It is for your benefit.” Ms. Stern urgently said. “No, it’s for your benefit. For the benefit of EU Music. It seems that I don’t matter in the bigger scheme of this company, I am just your puppet.” “Ms. Rowan, if you don’t comply you will be violating your contract. That means we reserve the right to fire you.” Mr. Ralph responded, his words full of anger and a fire behind his eyes. I held his gaze, hesitating for only a moment before responding. “This company can take me for who I am, or not have me at all.” “Breanna, don’t make a rash decisions. Are you sure?” Ms. Stern said to me quietly. “Yes, I most defiantly am.” I answered, faking confidence. “I don’t suppose I need to show you the door, Ms. Rowan.” Mr. Ralph declared with the emotionless face of someone who won’t allow themselves to be beat. It took me a minute to register what he had said. When it did register, it hit hard. I was an independent artist again, at the bottom. Holding my head high I walked out the door, while attempting to mimic Mr. Ralph’s blank face and hold my pride.

Chapter Six

As I walked out the front door, the thick humid air enveloped me. In the same way, the realization that I had just lost everything I had built up washed over me. Coupled with this sadness was the joy of standing up for myself and not letting anyone control me. These emotions clashed and resulted in the tears beginning to flow down my face. “Ed? I got out of work.” I said into my iPhone. “Hey Bree. I didn’t expect you for another hour or so.” He replied only half surprised. “Yeah, I got an early holiday I suppose.” I joked halfheartedly. “What happen? Are you okay?” He asked, concerned. “Why don’t you meet me at the Lake. I’ll explain everything.” I suggested “Yeah, sure. I can be there in ten minutes.” “See you there.” I said, hanging up the phone. I started towards the lake as my tears began to dry, letting myself relish the concern that had been in his voice.

Chapter Seven

Ed walked up and sat down next to me on a bench. “Are you holding up okay? Losing a job can always be hard.” “Yeah, I’m okay. Just a little overwhelmed.” I replied, worn out from my eventful morning. “But you didn’t really lose your job. You’ll always sing, and always write.” After pausing for a moment he continued, “So how did it all happen?” I retold my morning. Explaining my struggle and how I finally said something, finishing with, “Then I left without another word.” “I’m proud of you, and you made the right decision. You don’t need anyone else to make your music. You’ve been singing and writing forever, you don’t worry about being signed to some label.” “I know, I’m just going to keep doing what I’ve always done. I’ll keep gigging and writing and making myself known, just like you did.” I said, nudging his shoulder gently. “And it will work because you are just as good as me.” Ed countered me reassuringly. Silence washed over us, as we sat gazing out at the water, absorbed in our own thoughts. “Well, I suppose I should try to make some good come out of this experience.” I said, breaking the silence. “What do you have in mind?” Ed replied, turning towards me. He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear that had fallen in my face. “I could write a song, maybe it’ll be a hit.” I said jokingly, attempting to hide my blush. “Could I help, I want a bit of that success.” He said, pulling his ever present guitar out of it’s case. “Of course.” I said. “What should it be about? I think something relevant to now. Maybe your journey here?” “Sure, we could try that.” “Or even better, a love song.” He suggested grinning. “That sounds perfect.” I said smiling, realizing that maybe things weren’t all bad.